Hello my dears! Yes, I know, it has *coughs* once again been several months since I last posted. Where have I been? Why haven't I been blogging? Well, some of the reason was plain old laziness and lack of inspiration. Mostly, however, the reason has simply been that I've been too busy with other life things. Such as college, work, babysitting, church events, serving at church, brothers' basketball games, a church conference, hanging out with friends, family stuff, lots of homework, and even more church-related stuff...so yes, I have been busy.
But this week is spring break! Thank the LORD!!!!
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| I'm freeee!!! I'm free I'm free I'm free!!!!! |
All that aside, I wanted to talk about something today that I have been thinking about recently. Actually, there are a lot of things I've been thinking about recently, but this was one of the things I was like "Hey, maybe I should do a blog post on it!". So here we are and the topic is.........drumroll........Numbers!
Christina? What? Numbers? Really? We're not in kindergarten.
Yes, I know, but I'm not talking about learning to count numbers, I'm talking about the unrealistic expectations that we put on ourselves with numbers and our almost idolization of them. In other words, we let numbers define our worth instead of God.
Don't get me wrong. I'm NOT saying that numbers are bad, or that having goals and working towards them are bad. What I'm saying is that when we make our self-worth and our identities dependent on numbers, that is when we may have an issue.
I'm just gonna get real with y'all.
For the longest time I have "struggled" with my weight. People would tell me I wasn't big, but I wouldn't believe them. Now, I didn't have anorexia or anything like that, I just had this misconception that I was fat, even when I wasn't.
I let whatever number showed up on the scale determine my worth. Even if the numbers did go down, I still wasn't happy with it.
With God's help, and family and friends, I have finally come to a place where I am okay with how I am. And right now, I am the "biggest" that I have ever been, but I'm ok with that. Because it doesn't matter. God looks at our hearts, not at how much we do or don't weigh.
Another place we can put our identity is in our GPA.
Recently, I also realized that this was an area that I let "define" me.
My college classes had gone pretty well so far, until this semester rolled around and I was rather forced to take a science. (Because annoyingly enough you need two science classes to graduate *am still a little bitter*)
I've never liked sciences or done very well with them, either. Now, that being said, I LOVE to be outdoors and garden, and am interested in botany and stuff, but when it comes to chemistry, physics, or things that I'm forced to memorize versus things that I'm interested in and choose to memorize/ learn about, that's when I dislike it and usually don't do as well.
So this semester, little ole me walked into classes with the expectation that this year would be as good as the others. Well, when this certain class got difficult, and the numbers on the test didn't look so good, I started to believe that I was stupid, even thought most of my other classes were still going fine! I let the grades, my GPA, define me. I got into this weird funk that I was letting down my teachers and family, and even in a weird way letting God down. Now, could I have studied harder? Probably. But what it boils down to is that God has gifted me in other areas than science. Just because I am not good at one subject does not mean that you or I are a failure or "dumb". Don't let the lie that you are who your grades are define you!
You are precious to God, and you identity comes solely through Him! When we start to add a bunch of other expectations and "numbers" to the list, it can cause a LOT of stress and anxiety that He never created us to handle/ carry.
Another area that we can put our identity in numbers is how many people do or don't follow us on social media. If we have only seven followers, does that mean that we are any less of a person than the person who has seven hundred? No!
Our identity shouldn't be wrapped up in how popular or how many "likes" we get on things. Rather, let God define you instead of the numbers on the top of your Instagram, the top of your twitter, the side of your blog, etc.
Another area that we can put our identity in numbers would be "are you one or two". Single or a couple? Or how much money we make, or how many friends we have, or how tall or short we are, or even the number of years we are!
I've realized that we tend to put all this pressure on ourselves as we get older (at least I sometimes do this). Whether it be "oh, I'm this age so I should be graduating now." Or, "oh, I'm this age so I should be buying a car and working now." Or, "oh, I'm this age so I should be moving out now." Or, "oh, I'm this age so I should be getting married now". And the list could go on and on.
But guuys!!!
Our lives aren't meant to look exactly like everyone else's! What God may be calling one person to do at a certain age could be a totally different than what God is calling you to at the same age!
Just because someone is now in a certain "season" of their life doesn't mean that you should feel "rushed" or "less than" just because you aren't doing exactly what they are doing now!
Listen to God and follow his leading!
In the words of Elsa, let me encourage you to "Let it Go!"
Let go of the numbers that you have been holding on to to define you, and instead let Jesus define you!
Whether it be weight, GPA, social media, money, age, relationships, or other numbers that you are letting to define you, let them go!
Let go of the lies and chains that have been holding you back, keeping you from hearing what God says about you.
Don't listen to the lies!
Hear the truth, and the truth will set you free!
Your worth is not a number.
Unless you count the One who died to save you.
He is the One and only "number" that counts.
That is worth your heart.
That is worth it all.
Let His love fill and overflow in your hearts today, and as the chains fall, I pray that we will let go of the numbers that we have let define us, and instead hear the voice of our Savior who erased all the numbers.
